Peace plan rebuttal

This is some old stuff I found on a blog, but heck I just cant resist replying to this:

Edit:Popularly, but falsely called (thanks to lostinKatmandu, refer comments).
The Robin Williams Plan for Peace
original post 12.10.2003 | 8:00 pm

Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan ..... what we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)
I'll try:
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan:

1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their
affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega,
Milosovich and the rest of those 'good ole boys.' We will never "interfere"
again.
Yes please. About time. And don't forget Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan and Pakistan, As for Hitler and Mussolini, if it wasn't for Japan's strategically stupid Pearl Harbour attack the rigteous US of A was planning to sit out the war.

2. We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with
Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We will station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.
Finally, they get the message!

3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave.
We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be
gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France should welcome them.
Yeah, we "Asians" sure as hell wouldn't mind our people coming back.
I'd just love to see NASA function without "pure" Americans. Pity Albert Einstien isn't alive or you could have given him 90 days notice too!

4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days
unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be
allowed in. NO ONE! If you don't like it there, change it yourself and >don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need
any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
Uh huh. While you're doing that, why don't you stop selling arms and advanced tech to these same nations. Bet you didn't know Pakistan got 6 pc3 Orion recon planes to "patrol the Afghanistan border". See, the problem is the PC3 is a maritime recon aircraft. Afghanistan is roughly a thousand km away from any sea. So, go figure. Oh, and in case you didn't notice all you people out there, Pakistan's top nuclear scientist has been peddling A-bomb recipies all over the place(includeing N Korea). America's "top startegic ally in the fight against terrorism" has been distributing nuclear bomb tech. So get your facts straight before talking. As for cabbies and cashiers, I'd say the biggest immigrant role is supplying brain power. So why don't you say "We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers or intelligent people."
5. No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
That should apply to everyone, what? or you must have some real dumb students....

6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise.
This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will
require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou
will have to cope for a while. The Sierra Club, etc., Will have to deal
with it.
Go right ahead. Best of luck. Talking doesn't make it so. Anyways, lower demand means cheaper oil for the rest of us. We're paying 50 bucks a litre around here. For all you non-metric system whiners thats around $5 a gallon.

7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for
their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go
somewhere else to sell their production.
(About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
Absolutely. About a week of $2.001 a gallon would also be enough.

8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will
not "interfere," They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain,
cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if
anything.
Thanks. Saves us those long term loans disguised as aid. In any case whatever goes to any army of any country is GIVEN to them by the American government. Like the Taliban. Like the Al-Queda (yeah, they were funded by the CIA when they were startups during the Afghan campaign of the 1980s)
9. We will ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We
don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building
would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
I think the rest of the world wants a UN, American opinion notwithstanding. Send it over if you don't want it. The only reason we'd want the UN to be there is to keep an eye on the American nukes. Because, the most trigger happy nation in the world (and the only one to use nukes - Hiroshima, Nagasaki - and radioactive material in a war - I'm talking about those depleted Uranium shells used in the Gulf war which have given thousands of people cancer, bet you smug folks didn't know that) is sitting on 30,000 nukes. And by past behaviour is ready to use them if it doesn't get its own way, much like a wilful child. Heck its an open secret that after Hiroshima Japan was ready to surrender, but no, they wanted to test a fusion bomb so they dropped it on a city full of people (Nagasaki) for chrissakes.
10. All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. Now, ain't that a winner of a plan?
Won't work.

"The Statue of Liberty will no longer say 'Give me your poor, your tired,
your huddled masses longing to be free.' She's got a baseball bat and she's
yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'" -
I thought you'd want to send The Statue of Liberty back to France too...